The Silent Treatment in Relationships | Marriage Advice | Black Millennial Marriage | Bae| Relationship Advice | Love Advice | Black Love

Silence says “you’re not worth my words” “you’re on punishment” “I expect you to be a mind reader” and so much more!Do you use the silent treatment?I used to too, because I was convinced that anyone who had done me wrong knew exactly what they were doing, so therefore there isn’t anything else to say.But, in 10 years of marriage I’ve learned that it’s still “my right and responsibility to share how I feel in relationships.”Please don’t use the silent treatment with your spouse or others that you have a close relationship with. Instead, tell them how you feel in a calm respectful way. That is the only way to ensure that they know what they’re doing wrong. Now, if they keep doing the same stuff after you don already told them…it’s time to have a discussion about expectations and boundaries.Oh! and one more thing…sometimes it’s ok to “not know” how you feel about things in the moment. I do that sometimes when I really am unsure how I feel. I am a very deep thinker so sometimes I need time. But, don’t use “I’m not sure” as an excuse for the silent treatment. Usually when I’m pondering something in my heart and thoughts my husband isn’t even aware of it, because I’m not mad at him or treating him some type of way. I’m just simply thinking things through and deciding how I feel, rather than stressing him out about every single emotion that I have about every single thing that happens. Does that make sense?If you’re married, know that you’re not alone and other folks are dealing with the sameIf you’re single, understand that when you’re in a relationship or married, it’ll be up to you to share how you feel with that person, or after a time of “pondering” and then either going with the flow or communicating how you feel”No fantasies, No gimmicks, just REAL LIFE!”X, c 💋

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